shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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