btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
