i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
