i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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