I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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