You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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