one word: firstdatebathroomanal
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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