I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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