she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
