I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
