he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
