It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
