found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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