This girl is more easily done than said...
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
This is the high leading the old right now
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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