After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
