I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Randomize
