He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
