And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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