oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
