the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
