so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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