oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize
