reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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