why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
