I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
