Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
