look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
