Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Randomize
