Welp...herpes.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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