kristin has been a bad kristin
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Randomize
