The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
