I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Randomize
