Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
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