I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
