now i know why i became what i already was.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Randomize
