eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
