Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
