i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
