pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Randomize
