Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
