I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
But theres a keg here and me gusta
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize
