I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
it wasn't lemon gatorade
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
