O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
