There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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