Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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