forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
