Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
