just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
