I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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