He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
