Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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