Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
