Non-Jews are for practice
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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