when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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