Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
