Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
love makes seman taste better
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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