You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
