i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Randomize
