I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
