fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize