weddingsv make me drug and hornr
North Korea, Best Korea!
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
