i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
