yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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